Pinky, Brain and Facebook

"So what do you want to do tonight, Brain?"

"Same thing we do every night Pinky - try to take over the world!"

"Alright Brain. How are we going to do that?"

"Why it's as obvious as the silly look on your face, Pinky. We use the power of the Internet to convince all the stupid humans to do our bidding. We can control the world without leaving our cage."

"So how do we start Brain?"

"Well, the first thing we do is create a group. And we get all of our friends to join this group. And they get all of their friends to join this group. And then we get all of our friends' friends' friends to join the group. By exponential extrapolation, we will have all of the worlds population in our group within 5.7 days.. or wait, next week there is a holiday, so it will take only 4.8 days."

"Sounds great, Brain. So we take over the world by making friends with everybody?"

"Aha, that is what people will think - that we just want to be friends. Little will they realize that while they are busy chatting and telling each other stupid stories about their daily lives, we will be inserting little applications on their Facebook page which appear innocuous but in reality apply the principles of subliminal advertising so that we can insert thoughts into their heads without them even realizing."

"That's clever Brain. Ah, what's an Okyoo-us?"

"Shut up Pinky and start opening Facebook accounts."

Several days pass and we see Brain typing furiously on five keyboards simultaneously while observing a bank of huge screens.

"Pinky, do you realize we are almost there? In a few hours the last humans who do not have internet in the remote Himalayas will be connected via satellite - only because they have demanded access to our group! Pinky! Are you listening to me?"

"Brain! I found my childhood friend Rolly! We grew up together testing cosmetics. Would you believe that today he has moved on to important cancer studies?"

"Pinky! We must concentrate on the task at hand! Is the Facebook app ready?"

"I think so Brain. What was the password again? Ah yes, p-i-n-k-y. No-one would guess because I used a small 'p'. There. It's ready Brain!"

"Ok. Now we need to test the subliminal network. Let's see.. Pinky, encode a command to tell everyone to jump in the air."

"Right, Brain.. ready!"

Brain presses a button, and suddenly the whole earth shakes, making the mouses' cage bounce up and down.

"Pinky! We've done it! We have the world at our command! Hm. Now what should we do?"

"Um, tell everyone to put some cheese by the mousehole? To shave their legs and play the bagpipes? Um, to destroy all their weapons and start helping each other?"

"Pinky, we have the world at our command! This is not the time for frivolity! I know - tell everyone to deposit one cent in our paypal account!"

"Right, Brain.. ready!"

Brain presses a button and suddenly his bank balance shows $660 million. The mice now celebrate, drinking expensive champagne and fall into a drunken slumber.

The next morning, Brain rubs his swollen eyes and blinks at the banks of screens.

"Pinky! Our group has gone! They have all left! What happened?"

Pinky yawns and mumbles in half-sleep, "..everyone is everyone's friend.. wouldn't it be nice if we could all just get along together.. no need for wars, for militant societies.. no need to be an obedient servant of a nasty corrupt government.. nobody has to belong to anybody, any group.."

"Pinky! What have you done!"

Original material licensed for the creative commons by keshet anderson